Do you all hear that sound?
That my friends is the sound in the sound of silence!!!
BOTH kids started school today. This time at the SAME school, and for the first time in a long time I have some real time for myself. (This is where you insert the hands praising the sky emoji!!!)
Okay, I might be getting a little ahead of myself since I actually picked gray up at noon (and will do so m/w/f) but the promise of time for myself is there and even though the double pickup isn't ideal, the nap that an exhausted Gray will take on (most of) the days he's home is a gift in and of itself and I for one am not complaining. Not one bit.
As thrilled as I am to not spend every minute in traffic shuttling kids in opposite directions across town, I'm actually more excited for what this next chapter means for the boys themselves. Liam's school has been what all our lives have revolved around for the last two years, and I'm so happy that Gray is finally finding himself within the fold. Both boys are so unbelievably excited about the possibility of seeing each other in the hall each day, and this morning before drop off Liam reminded his baby bro that if he ever needs anything, he's just around the corner. Gray already knows so many boys through his brother (they go to a same sex school) and for the first time it feels like they are equals and I look forward to watching them grow in their relationship this year. For so long we've been told how important it is for Gray to find his own identity, but in reality he just wants to be where his brother is. Finally, both boys have gotten their wish.
So what am I going to do with all my free time?
This seems to be the #1 question I get when I mention what lies ahead. My answer: I'm not really sure. Now that I won't be spending all of my "free time" in bone crushing traffic on the mass pike or looking for parking in the city, I really feel like the world is wide open. I'm finally able to devote more time to my clients, and am looking forward to taking on more projects. Of course, there is this blog and I can't tell you how excited I am to finally have time allotted for my daily posts. I feel like my little business has grown so quickly in just the span of a year, and I can't wait to have actual uninterrupted time to allocate to it.
There are so many other things I've wanted to learn over the years, like photoshop, basic photography, and more advanced cooking. To be able to finally pursue those interests feels like such a gift, and one that I don't intend to waste. I also love volunteering at the boys' school and up until now it was such a stressor since I usually had a cranky toddler in tow. I can't even tell you how good it feels to finally be able to say "yes" to things and not immediately regret it, knowing what could happen if gray was in an off mood. I obviously am looking forward to spending more time with friends, and getting back on a regular gym schedule, but honestly I'll be so damn happy just to sit with my best friend and drink a cup of coffee without constantly watching the clock. Right now it's the little things I'm looking forward to, and let me tell you, they feel very BIG after two years of barely being able to fit them in. I've been warned by many not to take on too much, because when faced with free time for the first time it's easy to want to completely fill that void, so I really am trying to ease into things. I'm sure as time goes on I'll figure out where that balance is but right now I just couldn't be happier to have had a few hours to clear my to-do list so I can give the boys my complete attention after pickup.
For me, the first day of school is always one of pride, a little sadness, and promise. I'm so proud of the men my boys are becoming. I'm sad because it seems like just yesterday Liam was starting preschool and I just want time to slow down, and really I can't say enough when it comes to promise? I feel like I could write a novel. These little guys have the whole world ahead of them, and we are so happy with the path we have chosen for them. The headmaster at their school today gave a beautiful speech about how they feel their role as educators is to first nurture, than challenge, and I really feel that sums up our parenting philosophy completely. We have high expectations for our boys, pushing them to be good citizens and students, but ultimately we want them to know how loved they are by us and how lucky they are to have each other. Today was the first day of their new journey together and I couldn't be happier to be along for the ride.
I'd go to the moon and back for these kids, but luckily now I just have to drive 5 miles ;)